 Mayo Women’s Support Services are celebrating 10 years of working in the community
As part of our continued celebration to mark our joint ten year anniversary with Mayo Rape Crisis Centre
we commissioned a creative project involving the casting of hands to form a bowl symbolising the shared experience of women using the services. Staff were also invited to take part in the project. What has evolved out of this piece process is a unique and very beautiful sculpture.
Those who participated were invited to write about the casting, about the issue of violence against women and about the two services. Some of their thoughts are documented here.
Artists Statement
People usually get a cast on their hand to heal a broken or fractured bone. Through the process of wrapping these women’s hands in plaster bandages I felt that symbolically, together, our desire was to heal a broken or fractured life.
The idea behind this piece is to acknowledge and give form to these women and their journeys. They are not just statistics that we read about in government reports and newspaper articles. These are real human beings, unique individuals. They carry their own original blueprint.
While they share a lot in common with other survivors they also share a lot in common with every other human being on the planet. They too are mothers, partners, wives, colleagues, and caretakers, and in addition to all of this, they are survivors. They are the brave unsung heroes of our time. They do not receive medals for their courage and perseverance.
I hope that this piece can go some of the way to honouring their courage and strength, to last as a memorial to and a celebration of not just these, but all women who find themselves the victims of abuse. I also hope that the commissioning of this piece highlights the invaluable work carried out by both the Mayo Rape Crisis Centre and the Mayo Women’s Support Services. Their commitment and enduring resolve, often in the face of adversity, should not go unnoticed or unsupported. It is vital that their work continues into the future, so that more women may find themselves In Safe Hands.
Elaine Griffin – Artist
November 2004
On being involved in the Safe Hands Project…..
‘The meaning of Safe Hands in my eyes is honesty, love and the feeling of trust. To be in safe hands is a feeling of relief. It’s like being cocooned where nobody can harm you or mentally destroy you. It’s about being myself and not what somebody else wants me to be. It makes me feel worthwhile. Knowing I’m in safe hands gives me utter ease and calm. So I can not live in my world of safety’.
“This piece is circular, we are all in this together, from all social backgrounds *** Reaching out and supporting women *** Feels like being an individual rather than a statistic *** The idea is beautiful, each hand represents a whole family, like me and my six children *** Casting feels like having a facial *** It’s a privilege to be involved in this piece *** Being part of the casting was really exciting, I felt I was giving something back *** No hesitation in doing this *** I loved being involved “
‘I jumped at the opportunity to be involved with the Safe Hands Project – I didn’t need to be asked twice. Having had my life returned to me I hope that by saying my piece, maybe – just maybe – I might help someone out there realise that there are “Safe Hands” to help us all. At some point we should be all able to sleep at night knowing we will wake in the morning. And to awaken refreshed wanting to be awake, wanting to get up and live another day. Unless we feel safe and happy this will not happen. I know, I’ve been there, done that, burnt the t-shirt. Now I am in Safe Hands so I know what it means’
On the issue of violence against women….
‘In my opinion, violence against women makes women lose focus and all purpose of life. Women like me can become very insecure, feel worthless and bit by bit lose self esteem. You also begin to forget the person you were.’
‘There’s still not enough being done for women. There’s still a lot of it out there behind closed doors. It’s crazy’.
No one has to live like that….
It’s more hatred than love….
I felt I had no control over my life…
Domestic violence means hurt and sadness…
It’s all about power and control….
But…
‘Being someone who has suffered from physical and mental abuse, I am trying to spread the word that there is help out there. The worst fear about being a victim of domestic violence is that the memories stay with you for a long time until they begin to fade, and the hurt slowly leaves you.’
‘Being able to tell women that there is a service out there; don’t wait around for the second blow, get out’.
Empowerment of women…
It’s about education and respect…
Changing order – pyramid style to circular.....
Doing more globally…
Creating a new justice…
On the Services…
MWSS gave a new lease of life, I was always nervous of authority…. Friendly face and genuine attitude, the worker really believed me about what was happening.
The best bunch of women you could ever come across…I learned to trust.
You are made believe it is not your fault, it took me nearly thirty years to get out….You’ll stop blaming yourself.
Without the use of this service I wouldn’t be alive today. I go the encouragement to believe I was a good person. I have told lots of people about the service.
The government must give more money to these services.
It opened a lot of doors for me. I hope it opens a lot of doors for other Travelling women.
Support, refuge, safety, protection and networking with other women.
I felt very supported….Salvation for women.
Life long support, security and friendship.
‘When I came to Ireland the violence I had been living with didn’t stop. Being in touch with the team in the service in Castlebar gave me back my self-belief. They have shown me that women like me can recover and move forward from their hurtful pasts. The team have been some of the most helpful people that have ever worked hard for me. It is therefore a pleasure for me to say how grateful and thankful I am to them as they got me through.’
Safety and protection, then I got control over my life again.
I wish I knew about the service earlier.
It was a great help, I wouldn’t have survived without it.
The service saved my life…It was my lifeline.
I felt not alone, important, worthy…The service has got me to where I am now.
I wouldn’t have gone through with my separation without this help.
MWSS is life giving, life enhancing, so worthwhile…A strength to tap into….Moment to choose freedom.....A catalyst for change and newness of life.
‘At my lowest point I picked up the phone and made that fateful call. A support worker at the service answered my plea for help, and I haven’t looked back since.
The sun shone bright and warm that first day I went into the centre. I was scared going in though. I was afraid they’d think I’d made it all up or that I was just looking for attention or that they’d have people much worse than me and tell me I was just wasting their time. I’d gotten so used to fear that I found myself fearing everything and everyone.
The women in the centre took me in as if I was part of their family. My physical scars they’d never seen, but they helped to repair my battered soul. They smiled at me and spoke kindly to me.’
Wild Stones
Smile again with me,
I’ll hold your hand, you’ll see,
Walk tall now, my friend,
Come on,
Your heart I’ll help mend.
So many tears let fall,
And soon the soul feels small,
In the mist of life we got lost,
Now freedom is all that’s sought.
Together I promise, we’ll find it,
No longer alone in our heads we’ll sit,
Side by side,
Hand in hand,
Heart to heart,
Supporting each other, we’ll make a start.
Smile again and laugh dear one,
You’ll light a fire like the sun,
And like the sun all light your way,
You’ll never regret this day.
A stone for me, and a stone for you,
And a stone for a thousand others too,
Smile us all and all will see,
Smiles and love like stones are free
Kelley Rickard
Hands
There must have been nurturing hands as a young child but my body doesn’t remember. Always craving comfort where there is none. What comes to mind are harsh words, hands hitting me or pushing me away, always busy not hugging me.
Then hands up my nightdress, hands pinning me to the wall with their filthy abuse. Hands bullying me into submission and secrecy. Years go by, the secret buried deep by drink and drugs and hands still hurt me. Slapping so hard I see stars. It’s as if not to be abused in some way is not to feel alive. The black eyes, punches now, the broken cheekbone. Weeks spent hiding, blaming my own weakness. Then came massive hands around my throat trying to strangle my life away, absolute terror so close to a broken neck it haunts me still. Eventually the shock of sobriety, time for help, time for healing.
Now come the gently hands, the best hands ever, offering me hope, welcoming me into this safe haven. For the first time in my life I have a place to go where I feel safe.
Thank you kind hands
Anon.
Mayo Rape Crisis Centre
is celebrating 10 years of working in the community
As part of our continued celebration to mark our joint ten year anniversary with
Mayo Women’s Support Services
we commissioned a creative project involving the casting of hands to form a bowl symbolising the shared experience of women using the services. Staff were also invited to take part in the project. What has evolved out of this process is a unique and very beautiful sculpture.
Those who participated were invited to write about the casting, about the issue of violence against women and about the two services. Some of their thoughts are documented here.
Artists Statement
People usually get a cast on their hand to heal a broken or fractured bone. Through the process of wrapping these women’s hands in plaster bandages I felt that symbolically, together, our desire was to heal a broken or fractured life.
The idea behind this piece is to acknowledge and give form to these women and their journeys. They are not just statistics that we read about in government reports and newspaper articles. These are real human beings, unique individuals. They carry their own original blueprint.
While they share a lot in common with other survivors they also share a lot in common with every other human being on the planet. They too are mothers, partners, wives, colleagues, and caretakers, and in addition to al of this, they are survivors. They are the brave unsung heroes of our time. They do not receive medals for their courage and perseverance.
I hope that this piece can go some of the way to honouring their courage and strength, to last as a memorial to and a celebration of not just these, but all women who find themselves the victims of abuse. I also hope that the commissioning of this piece highlights the invaluable work carried out by both the Mayo Rape Crisis Centre and the Mayo Women’s Support Services. Their commitment and enduring resolve, often in the face of adversity, should not go unnoticed or unsupported. It is vital that their work continues into the future, so that more women may find themselves In Safe Hands.
Elaine Griffin – Artist
November 2004
On being involved in the Safe Hands Project…..
‘Although I very much wanted to be part of the project, my panic and anxiety was stopping me. However after encouragement I did manage to attend at the centre and have my hand cast. The fact that it took place in the centre where the atmosphere is supportive and relaxed enabled me to take part.’
“ To trust the artist *** For me hands were threatening and abusive and have appeared in my drawings – always ugly and menacing ready to invade and hurt *** Standing for myself and re-owning my power while dealing with unwelcome attention *** To take the hand offered by friends and the women in the centre while dealing with the situation *** Offering an open hand *** To create a matrix to support each other in our individual journeys – to join the individual journeys into a matrix *** To acknowledge each journey undertaken by the women using the centre”.
‘It gave me an opportunity to feel connected to a larger group without feeling threatened or exposed. As most of my journey has been done in isolation or on a one to one basis, this was a step forward for me. At the end of the session I had a sense of achievement and also one of anticipation.’
On the issue of violence against women…..
‘It permeates the media in reports of wars, deportations, rapes, domestic violence but also in advertisements, the colonisation of women’s bodies through science and in political areas.’
The abuse of power and shattering of trust are issues which I find very difficult to come to terms with. These issues still affect me today and have a negative impact on my relationships in the present.’
‘Lately I have been harassed by a guy on the phone and was hardly aware that he had broken the boundaries of my personal space’.
‘I suffered emotional abuse from an older sibling. This took the form of bullying – physical and verbal. The worst part about it was not knowing when it would occur, always living in fear, tip-toeing around this person afraid of sparking off their anger. There was also a sense of being powerless to stop the attacks. Throughout this time, I had to develop strategies to protect myself. I now see how some of these strategies are no longer useful, they now restrict my life, and I am constantly struggling to change the patterns I laid down during this period in my life.’
*********************************************
RED
BLUE PURPLE
YELLOW
Gone
Not a Rainbow
A Bruise
Merovee 2004
On the services….
A place to be heard and supported
A place to unravel who I am from the experience of abuse and its consequences
A place where life is real
Reverence is given to life but not to the detriment of the person
A place of warmth and good humour where process takes precedence
Words that come to mind when I think of the centre and its staff: warm, welcoming, non-judgemental, flexible, practical, accommodating, reassuring, comforting, sympathetic, accepting, supportive, informative, confidential, respectful, generous, caring
When I first contact with the centre, although at that time I wasnot ready to come in for counselling, I received reassurance that the symptoms I was experiencing were “normal” responses to what had happened.
I saw that I was accepted as I was, exactly where I was at.
I found that I received great care and support as well as practical help. Being able to make my report to the Gardai in the centre, with my counsellor present, certainly made the whole process easier for me.
By the time I decided to come in the counselling I had already had several meetings, some in my own home because I was unable to come into the centre. I needed a lot of reassurance about practical issues e.g. managing to get to my sessions because of my difficulties with agoraphobia and panic attacks. Two years later I am still attending. The service is flexible and accommodating.
As well as counselling I have been helped by being provided with information, reading materials etc and I was given help and support to access other services which I needed.
The centre continues to provide me with support and I know that will continue for as long as I need it.
My Safe Place by Margaret Leahy
I sit
I relax
I feel
I talk
She listens
I’m free to express
Anger
Sadness
Pain Rejection
No judgement
My space
My chair
My green room
My time
I learn to say I
My space is
Safe
Secure
Gentle
Quiet
I give
My hand
My hidden pain
My honesty
My secrets are safe
I came
I shared
I listened
I forgave myself
I started my journey from this My Safe Place
*********************************************
Unlucky Number Thirteen J.R.
It never stops
It never leaves
It does not let me breathe
Its all I hear
And all I see,
My every waking deed
I see it in the mirror
It’s etched upon my face
It’s every place
The caravan, car and bedroom
The couch, the hall, the floor
No knock upon the door
Its sleeping, waking, eating
Lying, aching, breathing
Kneeling on the floor
It’s a rasp, a touch, a cough
Always with the lights turned off
A creeping hand, a whisper
HER HUSBAND, MY SISTER
*********************************************
Rape Crisis Centre Merovee 2004
To reap the harvest from the seed sown in the infertile ground of sexual abuse, rape.
Isis, battling with the underworld, was she a woman in crisis?
Here I search and enter my centre
*********************************************
Memories, feelings and tears of pain
Loss and shame.
As I thought these “safe hands”
That should have surrounded me ay back when….
Then a feeling of healing emerged as tears of comfort and relief surrounded me with thoughts of these safe hands protection me……….
But then with my moulded hand entrapped
Memories and a sense of powerlessness
Came flooding back…
Filled with feelings of loss and pain
Reminding me of that shame…..
And that terrible dark and lonely place
Where my silent cries of pain where never heard and very much in vain
Yet within my solitude somehow a flickering light remained.
Now the mould has “strengthened”
Unleashing memories of my silent prayers
Please give me strength and courage, I’d say, helping to carry me through each and every day.
Till one day I found a friend, a very special friend indeed, who held my hand, heard my cries, and listened to my pain
Releasing me from my shame…
Surrounding me with a beautiful love….
I’m sure its heaven sent from above…
Giving me the strength to believe and courage to face and accept my truth,
A journey of healing has truly begun
For now at last
I am in safe hands
I’m seeing me for the first time
Anon
Hands
There must have been nurturing hands as a young child but my body doesn’t remember. Always craving comfort where there is none. What comes to mind are harsh words, hands hitting me or pushing me away, always busy not hugging me.
Then hands up my nightdress, hands pinning me to the wall with their filthy abuse. Hands bullying me into submission and secrecy. Years go by, the secret buried deep by drink and drugs and hands still hurt me. Slapping so hard I see stars. It’s as if not to be abused in some way is not to feel alive. The black eyes, punches now, the broken cheekbone. Weeks spent hiding, blaming my own weakness. Then came massive hands around my throat trying to strangle my life away, absolute terror so close to a broken neck it haunts me still. Eventually the shock of sobriety, time for help, time for healing.
Now come the gently hands, the best hands ever, offering me hope, welcoming me into this safe haven. For the first time in my life I have a place to go where I feel safe.
Thank you kind hands
Anon.
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